Love Simplified

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Human beings experience a vast range of emotions, from anger and anxiety to empathy and compassion. However, the most unclear emotion to their mind is the emotion of love. A mix of brain chemicals and bodily hormones generates this emotion, making it so complex to understand.

Due to the complexity of love that humans experience at different levels, it becomes almost impossible for many of them to figure out what love actually is and what its consequences are. As a result, they take some major decisions in life that either bring happiness to them or become burdens over a period of time. Yet, love can be saved and burdens can be avoided! Let’s see how to give it a start.

Understanding the levels

To understand the basics of love, it is important to understand its different levels.

• The most raw form in the love hierarchy is sexual or physical love, which arises due to bodily needs. You can imagine it to be sitting at the base of the love pyramid.

• As a human soul develops and grows, love transforms into more of romantic love, with less of sexual desire in it.

• At the next level, love takes the form of friendship, care, and wanting to fulfill all the needs of lovers and partners. At this level, humans usually want to move into commitment or marriage as they understand the meaning of real love and they want to continue experiencing this emotion. Most humans on earth are currently operating at this level.

• However, it takes much more to climb up the pyramid and experience the emotion of true love. It is also called as the spiritual love or the divine love. For that purpose, a human soul requires to undergo spiritual awakening and transformation that happen by the blessings of God and with the help of divine beings.

• After this level, a human actually rises above the earthly plane and becomes a true soul that can offer eternal love to itself and to another soul at its level. When a soul desires much more than a usual earthly relationship, it is grown to achieve self-love and independence. The soul also gains the knowledge of balancing itself and feeling complete in itself. A balanced soul can easily achieve balance with its partner soul. At this level, two balanced and independent individuals are able to form a healthy and exemplary relationship.

• Post that level, a soul is able to experience compassionate love for the entire humanity and then the divine love for the entire cosmos.

• The ultimate and purest form of love is called devotion that every soul grows to offer to the supreme God. Thus, God reciprocates such devotion with their unimaginable form of love.

How to deal with the challenges of each level

There is only one simple solution to solve the problems that humans face at different levels of love – To Love, Be Loved, and Grow in Love, All Authentically…

Additional Tips: Do not let any negative emotion influence your love. Negativity can kill love, because love is a positive emotion. So, you receive nothing in return. Offer your love unconditionally to all, and avoid keeping any expectations or making any assumptions when it comes to the reciprocation of your love by others. Not everyone can return love or offer it unconditionally. Not everyone wants to do it or is even obligated to do it. We are all separate souls having our own choices, desires, circumstances, and interests to serve in life. No one can control no one! Had love worked so smoothly, it would not be complex.

Love is never owned by ego. If ego has to survive, love must die. Always make healthy choices when it comes to loving self or others. The issues occur when you get stuck at the base or any level of the pyramid and never want to rise up. Challenges and the resulting pains are parts of everyone’s love life, but they need to be resolved so that you don’t refrain from spiritual growth. Thus, keep yourself vulnerable in love. If it brings lessons, then take them and move on. Let go of the wrong lovers amicably, without a feeling of revenge. Forgive them without blame, because sometimes, it may be your fault that you see in them or may be mutual faults. Let go anyways, or you stay stuck with no progress.

Make sure you choose the right partner who is at your level of love and can help you grow. Incompatibility, especially in terms of love needs, can cause an imbalance in any connection, marriage, or partnership. Seek help from wise astrologers, spiritualists, marriage counselors or psychological counselors to learn to bring in compatibility in your relations. Know that love is a very wide domain of knowledge in itself. If you’re not prepared to handle partnerships, do not jump into them or you’ll make yourself and your partner suffer. Never force any relation on yourself. If you’re concerned about progress, it can also be done by self. Remind yourself of self-love at all times; don’t compromise on it, ever. That’s it – love simplified for you!

Reference Resources – For my blog readers who may want to learn more about love at specific levels, I’ve available books authored by me. You may choose the ones that resonate with you. The links are here:

On Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Ruchika-Pahwa/e/B079BBVHZY/ref=aufs_dp_mata_dsk

On my website: https://ruchikapahwa.wixsite.com/author/books

As I write in multiple genres, you should read the book description carefully, before selecting to purchase any of them. From the spiritual growth and love perspective, I personally suggest these books – The Christmas That Brought Love, As Love Can’t be Typed, Rainbow Love, Are YOU Complete?, The Truth of Energies, To the Lord of Compassion, The Truth to Know Before You Tarot It, Bonds & Bondages, Dewdrops, Elemental, Selene, Living Liberation, and Oasis of Peace.

If you have a specific love or life issue to resolve and need help to choose the right book, then just connect to me through my website or social media mentioned thereon. Drop a tweet, or comment here.

May you find the light and peace in love! Enjoy your life, dear folks, until we meet through another blog. 🙂

Dedicated to my book, “As Love Can’t Be Typed”

When love is charm

Ranunculus gives it a form,

When love gets new buds

Carnations flavor your blood,

When love sparks romance

Roses make your heart dance,

When love means comfort

Tulips blow their trumpet,

When love rests in lifelong joy

Gardenias turn their smile coy!

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(All my fiction, non-fiction and poetry books are available for purchase here: https://www.amazon.com/Ruchika-Pahwa/e/B079BBVHZY.)

Her Nature

She kept on warning

Against encroachment

On her personal space

And constructing on

Her evergreen land

Yet they lost the ears

And sight to envision

How she would react

On theft of her fragrance

On stealing her pious smile

On constantly interrupting

Through her meditative stance

But finally she displayed

How the game is played

As they destroyed her shade

She came in with her brigade

Charging in with extreme rage

They hadn’t seen for decades!

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What Constitutes the Shady Side of Wealth?

When a majority of the world remains in a constant struggle to achieve the wealthier status, it is important to understand the mind-wealth connection deeply. Is there a limit to being wealthy or do people stop somewhere from further accumulation of money? Let’s start by knowing how money impacts the brain, which is also the reason why most individuals keep playing with their physical and mental health to only focus on working hard to earn.

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Ego satisfaction: Firstly, ego is of several types, from serving oneself in a narcissistic manner to satisfying one’s need to be recognized as powerful. Wealth is one of the best ways that many people use to serve different types of ego. There are those who believe that rich rule this world and money can buy everything for them. Then, there are those who think that they can gain the control over others’ opinions and lives if they can achieve a wealthier status. This is because our society has been programmed in a way to worship the rich and believe that rich individuals are mostly the result of hard work. Using such mind programming, a few higher strata individuals also flaunt their ability to work hard to earn money, which is another type of ego that they are serving unconsciously. Although it is not harmful at the initial stages of wealth accumulation when it is done with the purpose of meeting basic needs of life, this behavior can go to dangerous levels when that ego about the ability to hard work starts reflecting in an individual’s deteriorating bodily, mental or soul health. This is a good reason to keep introspecting in order to keep a check on one’s deep attachment to monetary things and the level of richness one desires to achieve for internal satisfaction and life’s stability and security.

Power: It is true that money offers stability and security to everybody. However, it is also true that it centers the power in the middle of the palm of its owner. The good side of this power is that it delivers the required confidence and control over life to the owner, as they get more to spend towards living comfortably. The shady side, on the other hand, shows up at a stage when the person forgets where to stop or slow the process of accumulating wealth and start enjoying the real life for which they have earned or have been earning. Just a few people recognize this to stay grounded and balanced while hiding under the bundles of notes; the rest realize the importance of living life happily when their final breaths begin snatching their money power. Well, money can surely deliver power in a world of illusions, but it cannot buy healthy emotions, true love, peace, tranquility, or a set of new breaths for anybody!

Status and identity: Reaching the top is a dream for many, but do many understand the identity differences and social distances wealth creates? There are again two sides of the coin. It is great to build oneself up and rise to the peak of success positively. Money then becomes a part of the natural career progression process. Sharing such wealth with the loved ones and other people in need definitely carves a great identity for a high-status individual. The other side is much darker. When somebody rich has no concern with social welfare, the same wealth can make them arrogant through their status and unconcerned about the emotions and problems of the unprivileged. According to many studies, a higher socioeconomic class makes a large bunch of people feel special and worthy of what they have earned. Class privilege then defeats the teachings to the world that there are fair opportunities available to all. It oppresses lower-status individuals and demands them to work harder to gain their fair share of success, even without a concern for their survival conditions. Rich by default become the ignorant judges of poor in such cases, neglecting the differences between the skills and abilities at both ends. Still, this behavior is limited to a portion of wealthy population, and perceptions of higher strata individuals are also changing with times.

Addictions: Another shady side of wealth is its addictive nature. One earns and then earns more and then some more as their lifestyle alters along with this behavior. After the basic and luxury needs are met, one may move towards exploring more ways to spend their earnings. Alcohol, drugs, gaming, gambling, eating – these become causal activities. The individual may thus start moving up from the grounded reality and the roots from which they have risen. However, their brain chemistry may become so exhilarating that in no time, the coin may flip to the other side where anxiety and depression stay in the lack of grounding ability.

How to Avoid the Shady Side of Wealth?

While rising through the ladder of success, it is critical to keep a watch on one’s ego and hunger for power and control. It is also important to see whether you are managing your wealth right and serving the society you want to lead. Spending unnecessarily and unreasonably can waste the precious wealth you may have built through actual hard work. Avoid the waste and use it to heal others who do not have the opportunities available to be like you. Be sensitive to the emotions of those who are not bestowed with a rich destiny in this lifetime. Spend on some luxury but don’t go addictive and overboard. Nobody will ever reward you for owning 100 cars and 10 houses! Nobody can even help you to carry all that stuff to the metaphysical world…!

Can Some Food Pictures Make You Obese?

After a long break, let’s just talk about something engrossing today, which is the kind of ‘food’ we all crave for. I’m not too sure about you, but I crave for interesting foodstuff when I see it well presented on display counters in cafes. However, does it happen because I feel hungry at that moment? As far as I’ve observed my eating behavior, it is not always the case. Sometimes, I crave for certain food items even when I am not hungry. It might have happened to you as well!

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However, did you know that we crave for some junk foods suddenly after looking at their pictures only? It’s true that food pictures can make us feel hungry and eat at odd timings. When we are stimulated by food images, we forget our limits and continue eating even when we really do not need those extra calories. This craving behavior is bound to make someone obese over a period of time. Do you want to know how such pictorial content on food affects our eating behavior and how we can avoid it? If yes, simply read on.

The main reason we get attracted to appealing food images is the presence of certain chemicals in our brain. Yes, it is actually our brain that remains hungry, rather than our stomach. When we see fresh, interestingly presented, and colorful food items in pictures, the brain chemicals like dopamine get released and trigger some types of sensations in our brain. These sensations are mostly pleasurable and are caused due to a combined action of dopamine and a few other chemicals.

The resulting sensations force us to repeat our behavior, and that is why we continue eating junk foods repeatedly, even when we do not feel hungry. However, it is helpful to know that only specific food items cause such pleasurable sensations in our brain. What we crave for and what we do not crave for, depends on the looks of the food item, which we also like in taste. Thus, craving for it offers us satisfaction. In addition, our brain programming from prehistoric times drives us towards certain foods more than others.

I think a combination of all these factors leads to my craving for those items on counter display. Research suggests that we cannot simply resist such cravings. Does that mean I’d get obese one day? No, I take an oath that I won’t keep staring at those yummy food pictures and would actually avoid giving them a glance. However, is that really possible in this advertising world where most of the food advertising uses our taste buds to sell foodstuff?

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Did you know that a lot of advertising research is conducted to understand the kinds of tastes and smells that we all like? Based on such research, pictorial content is developed on appealing foods that trigger our brain to feel pleasurable sensations. This is how we get trapped by appealing food pictures.

Is there a way out? Yes, maintaining a strict fitness regime and keeping our cravings as controlled as possible can help to avoid taking an overdose of food and to move towards obesity. Does that work for you? Share your thoughts.

I think I am going to shift myself to a ‘veggies-only street.’ Think about what you will do! Until I get back with another thought-speak, enjoy your meal!

The Psychology of Books Series – Book Review: Close to The Bone by Lisa Ray

Being a lifelong learner, I hardly create my reading lists. Instead of me needing to choose books, the chosen books reach me in a magical way. ‘Close to the Bone’ is one such book that captured me. If it has reached you too, I suggest not missing reading it at all.

While the words in golden beautify the book cover, the real gold is hidden inside this memoir of Lisa Rani Ray, a popular name in the world of modeling and cinema. It’s her soulful saga that begins with her heartwarming childhood stories and family incidents. There is a lot interesting to read, from carrying a mixed-race legacy with her to the experiences she gained from her time spent with family, relatives and friends in two different countries, India and Poland, where her father and mother respectively belong to.

Lisa has also wonderfully written an account of her life in Calcutta, Canada, New York and London, among other places, and her professional life that ‘accidentally’ started in Bombay. Her inclination to writing and poetry, practicing yoga and meditation, mural painting, and travel and adventure is all mentioned beautifully. From her inner conflicts, failed relationships, bulimia issue and fears in life to her graduation from the deadly disease of multiple myeloma/cancer, she has very honestly penned it all down.

What most appealed and related to me was the storytelling of her deep spiritual adventures and her quest to understand and achieve a balanced life by believing constantly in her positive thoughts and not in the norms and fears that prevail around one’s choices in life. She has shown the courage to rise above societal tags and bound beliefs to spread awareness about issues close to her heart.

Whether it is about undergoing stem cell treatment or attending red carpet events with her shaved head, Lisa, through her life experiences, teaches the world to shed its inhibitions and find the real ‘self’ to manifest what seems impossible.

Although I found the book slightly dragged by the end, it’s actually a page turner, even if it’s not a fiction book. That’s simply because Lisa’s life is so real, yet unreal; so intuitive and random, yet cosmically planned; and so inner-oriented, yet extremely candid. I strongly recommend the memoir to all.

Lead a happy life, reading and growing…:)

The Psychology of Books Series – Book Review: The Knife’s Edge by Prof. Stephen Westaby

Continuing my quest for wonderful reads, this month, I came across a non-fiction book named The Knife’s Edge. For those of you who want to develop with the development of knowledge, this book can be a pearl in the necklace. Here is my review of The Knife’s Edge:

“The Knife’s Edge is a beautifully crafted book by an equally crafty cardiac surgeon, Professor Stephen Westaby. As its caption suggests, it’s truly an account of the heart and soul of a cardiac surgeon who deals with the ups and downs of life, every single moment at work. You’ll see the sacrifices and pains behind that routine of multiple mind-boggling surgeries that are handled under extreme pressure by surgeons, yet with great precision. Sometimes, their hands are tied; sometimes, their times are.

I also appreciate the way the author has raised his questions on the working of a healthcare system that he believes to be lacking in advanced equipment and resources required for a job that is considered to be the toughest in the professional domain. It was sad to learn about the conditions in which critical heart surgeries of infants and adults take place when the system is unable to provide for the best, which it is surely able to achieve with such talented nursing personnel and surgeons.

Some compassion for the sufferers and a slight change in administrative mindset can avoid many dangers, fears and risks to the ‘precious’ life. Suffering is never a good sight to witness, whether by patients’ families or their surgeons.

This book not just covers the author’s professional cases but also his personal life that sometimes displays the shades of sadness, fear and misery and the feelings of joy on other occasions. I feel life is never normal when death becomes a regular part of it. I was moved by the incidents like those of Sophie and Oliver, the little patients who came back from the clutches of death, simply because their surgeon forever believed in hope and in magic at times when he strove constantly to achieve perfection.

While it’s advantageous to be aware of the basics of anatomy and medical procedures when you read this book, the life stories, thoughts and experiences of Prof. Westaby are worth cherishing, especially when the book is so well edited and supported by a glossary of medical terms. Go for it any day, guys!”

Lead a happy life, reading and growing…:)

The Psychology of Books Series – Book Review: The Unnamed Bears Favor by J. Lyon Layden

As we talk about the psychology of content on this blog, I want to share today about the books that have their unique psychology. We, the writers, weave a special world for our readers in order to instigate their imagination and thought processes in multiple directions. If a book cannot do that, there is no point in its existence.

I not only create books but also read tons of them (tons from different genres!) to spark my imagination and thoughts. I suggest the same when you read something. Explore a variety of genres and do not keep yourself limited to the one you like. While your favorite genre may keep your mind entertained, your mind also needs to grow and develop with a new stream of thought.

Recently, I came across this amazing read that I’d like to recommend to you. The title of this fantasy novelette is ‘The Unnamed Bears Favor.’ This book by J. Lyon Layden is a fine read for those readers who have been finding their truth and purpose in life. I’m posting a concise review so you may get a gist of what it brings along.

My review of The Unnamed Bears Favor:

“The Unnamed Bears Favor is a well-researched, well-crafted work by the author. Those who are enlightened will reach the depth of his imagination here. The story of an unnamed village outcast started random and slow, but everything made a connection as I flipped through the pages. It’s beautiful to see how this ‘unnamed’ brave boy walks through an adventurous life journey with his brotherly tribe to try achieving a name that could define his identity and life’s purpose. The rich vocab is complemented by dramatic scenes, which I loved most about this book. I almost got immersed in the world of adorned warriors and dreadful ogres. I’m glad I came across and read this novelette.”

I’m sure you’ll also be glad to read it and more such books that take you to a higher plane of consciousness. When your mind reaches that state of consciousness, you become aware of the tasks you’re here to accomplish. All humans have arrived to complete their mission on Earth, and the earlier you find your purpose, the better you do that task. So, do not delay your mental expansion up on the ladder of life. Read-learn-absorb-repeat!

Lead a happy life, reading and growing…:)

Luxurious Fears

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Oh! There that is

A land of luxury

Where people are crazy

Over dancing and drinking

In a dark room that’s hazy

Where people want to eat

A piece of garnished bread

In a 7-star galaxy

Designed for diners’ fleet

Where people hopelessly desire

To smoke out their stresses

In a herd that’s all on fire

That world of luxury

Seems so scary to me

That I’ll never want

To enter those streets

Where people want to meet

The dreamy success they can greet

But never want to share

And never think of care,

The fearful I

Will then rush back

To a cottage of clay

Where people only want

To mold their dreams

Into such a simple bay

In which they may

Together stay

Forever… To just love and pray!

How Your Positive Relationships Turn Venomous Over Time

A close friend of mine recently shared his story with me. Without going into the details, I’ll just tell you that he had a harmonious relationship with his wife where everything was going well. They shared mutual love, but her wife soon took the relationship in a direction where they started having fights and arguments every other day. It surged so high that they reached the end very soon.

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To make you understand the psychology behind such relationships, let me give you an example of my friend’s behavior. He is a genuine young, energetic guy but extremely emotional. He holds back grudges, hurt, pain, sorrow and everything negative inside him. He says he doesn’t like to share it with the world, and he wants to stay clam and collected in front of people who are not close to him.

That is quite okay when it is his personal choice and when he knows he can handle his pains well. However, since he had a loving wife who always gave him an ear and a shoulder to lean on, he started sharing his bruises and sorrows with her. His dealings with people happened in a way that he was back-stabbed many times. You all must have experienced how some people can take advantage of your emotions and hit your weak points. He experienced it too but never gave back to their merciless ways or cut ties with them.

Now, he kept on collecting all the venom from his surroundings but still acted nice on the outside. However, after a point, the venom started overflowing, and he needed to vent it out. Psychology calls it the displacement reaction. As you take out someone else’s anger on a third person, you also take out your negative emotions on a third person in situations like these. While he thought he was taking a positive way to keep crying in front of his wife who was always there for him, he didn’t know it was not.

Let me tell you why. When you keep spilling out the venom on your loved ones in order to feel good inside, you feel good inside! You displace whatever eats you inside. However, you are throwing it out to the person who is positive enough to absorb it. Once you make it a habit, you keep feeling better and better and better, as you have a place where you can dump everything you don’t like. On the other hand, your loved one keeps receiving your dump and keeps gathering negativity and negativity and negativity that you’re passing on unknowingly and they’re collecting unknowingly.

Is it a healthy way to live your life and a healthy way to let your loved ones live theirs? They are there to support you at times when you feel very low in life and not to take your venom on an everyday basis. Once you do that, you keep transferring your negative energy to them and making them feel negative about you. Imagine if you had to do the same for your partner, won’t you get tired after a time? Won’t you ask them to be strong and handle their troubles on their own if they have the habit to attract such troubles every other day?

No, you won’t, especially when you’re trying to be a good partner. That’s what my friend’s wife had been doing…being a good partner! In the process, she was getting venomous, which later started reflecting in her argumentative behavior. Just like her husband, her inside was also filled with negativity that came from him only. The mere difference was that her husband had someone to transfer it to, while she had no one!

(Learn from it and pass it on. If you are like my friend, be strong enough to take care of yourself and your loved ones. Learn to deal with pressures of life and negative energy inside you. They are a part of every human’s life. Don’t cry about them. If you are like my friend’s wife, make your loved one aware when you feel strained. Move away from endless toxicity and let them deal with it. Teach them how to be stronger to face toxicity, as you can obviously do better than them. Have a happy, positive life with the ones you care about and the ones who care for you!)