Love Simplified

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Human beings experience a vast range of emotions, from anger and anxiety to empathy and compassion. However, the most unclear emotion to their mind is the emotion of love. A mix of brain chemicals and bodily hormones generates this emotion, making it so complex to understand.

Due to the complexity of love that humans experience at different levels, it becomes almost impossible for many of them to figure out what love actually is and what its consequences are. As a result, they take some major decisions in life that either bring happiness to them or become burdens over a period of time. Yet, love can be saved and burdens can be avoided! Let’s see how to give it a start.

Understanding the levels

To understand the basics of love, it is important to understand its different levels.

• The most raw form in the love hierarchy is sexual or physical love, which arises due to bodily needs. You can imagine it to be sitting at the base of the love pyramid.

• As a human soul develops and grows, love transforms into more of romantic love, with less of sexual desire in it.

• At the next level, love takes the form of friendship, care, and wanting to fulfill all the needs of lovers and partners. At this level, humans usually want to move into commitment or marriage as they understand the meaning of real love and they want to continue experiencing this emotion. Most humans on earth are currently operating at this level.

• However, it takes much more to climb up the pyramid and experience the emotion of true love. It is also called as the spiritual love or the divine love. For that purpose, a human soul requires to undergo spiritual awakening and transformation that happen by the blessings of God and with the help of divine beings.

• After this level, a human actually rises above the earthly plane and becomes a true soul that can offer eternal love to itself and to another soul at its level. When a soul desires much more than a usual earthly relationship, it is grown to achieve self-love and independence. The soul also gains the knowledge of balancing itself and feeling complete in itself. A balanced soul can easily achieve balance with its partner soul. At this level, two balanced and independent individuals are able to form a healthy and exemplary relationship.

• Post that level, a soul is able to experience compassionate love for the entire humanity and then the divine love for the entire cosmos.

• The ultimate and purest form of love is called devotion that every soul grows to offer to the supreme God. Thus, God reciprocates such devotion with their unimaginable form of love.

How to deal with the challenges of each level

There is only one simple solution to solve the problems that humans face at different levels of love – To Love, Be Loved, and Grow in Love, All Authentically…

Additional Tips: Do not let any negative emotion influence your love. Negativity can kill love, because love is a positive emotion. So, you receive nothing in return. Offer your love unconditionally to all, and avoid keeping any expectations or making any assumptions when it comes to the reciprocation of your love by others. Not everyone can return love or offer it unconditionally. Not everyone wants to do it or is even obligated to do it. We are all separate souls having our own choices, desires, circumstances, and interests to serve in life. No one can control no one! Had love worked so smoothly, it would not be complex.

Love is never owned by ego. If ego has to survive, love must die. Always make healthy choices when it comes to loving self or others. The issues occur when you get stuck at the base or any level of the pyramid and never want to rise up. Challenges and the resulting pains are parts of everyone’s love life, but they need to be resolved so that you don’t refrain from spiritual growth. Thus, keep yourself vulnerable in love. If it brings lessons, then take them and move on. Let go of the wrong lovers amicably, without a feeling of revenge. Forgive them without blame, because sometimes, it may be your fault that you see in them or may be mutual faults. Let go anyways, or you stay stuck with no progress.

Make sure you choose the right partner who is at your level of love and can help you grow. Incompatibility, especially in terms of love needs, can cause an imbalance in any connection, marriage, or partnership. Seek help from wise astrologers, spiritualists, marriage counselors or psychological counselors to learn to bring in compatibility in your relations. Know that love is a very wide domain of knowledge in itself. If you’re not prepared to handle partnerships, do not jump into them or you’ll make yourself and your partner suffer. Never force any relation on yourself. If you’re concerned about progress, it can also be done by self. Remind yourself of self-love at all times; don’t compromise on it, ever. That’s it – love simplified for you!

Reference Resources – For my blog readers who may want to learn more about love at specific levels, I’ve available books authored by me. You may choose the ones that resonate with you. The links are here:

On Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Ruchika-Pahwa/e/B079BBVHZY/ref=aufs_dp_mata_dsk

On my website: https://ruchikapahwa.wixsite.com/author/books

As I write in multiple genres, you should read the book description carefully, before selecting to purchase any of them. From the spiritual growth and love perspective, I personally suggest these books – The Christmas That Brought Love, As Love Can’t be Typed, Rainbow Love, Are YOU Complete?, The Truth of Energies, To the Lord of Compassion, The Truth to Know Before You Tarot It, Bonds & Bondages, Dewdrops, Elemental, Selene, Living Liberation, and Oasis of Peace.

If you have a specific love or life issue to resolve and need help to choose the right book, then just connect to me through my website or social media mentioned thereon. Drop a tweet, or comment here.

May you find the light and peace in love! Enjoy your life, dear folks, until we meet through another blog. 🙂

Dedicated to my book, “As Love Can’t Be Typed”

When love is charm

Ranunculus gives it a form,

When love gets new buds

Carnations flavor your blood,

When love sparks romance

Roses make your heart dance,

When love means comfort

Tulips blow their trumpet,

When love rests in lifelong joy

Gardenias turn their smile coy!

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(All my fiction, non-fiction and poetry books are available for purchase here: https://www.amazon.com/Ruchika-Pahwa/e/B079BBVHZY.)

Her Nature

She kept on warning

Against encroachment

On her personal space

And constructing on

Her evergreen land

Yet they lost the ears

And sight to envision

How she would react

On theft of her fragrance

On stealing her pious smile

On constantly interrupting

Through her meditative stance

But finally she displayed

How the game is played

As they destroyed her shade

She came in with her brigade

Charging in with extreme rage

They hadn’t seen for decades!

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How Your Positive Relationships Turn Venomous Over Time

A close friend of mine recently shared his story with me. Without going into the details, I’ll just tell you that he had a harmonious relationship with his wife where everything was going well. They shared mutual love, but her wife soon took the relationship in a direction where they started having fights and arguments every other day. It surged so high that they reached the end very soon.

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To make you understand the psychology behind such relationships, let me give you an example of my friend’s behavior. He is a genuine young, energetic guy but extremely emotional. He holds back grudges, hurt, pain, sorrow and everything negative inside him. He says he doesn’t like to share it with the world, and he wants to stay clam and collected in front of people who are not close to him.

That is quite okay when it is his personal choice and when he knows he can handle his pains well. However, since he had a loving wife who always gave him an ear and a shoulder to lean on, he started sharing his bruises and sorrows with her. His dealings with people happened in a way that he was back-stabbed many times. You all must have experienced how some people can take advantage of your emotions and hit your weak points. He experienced it too but never gave back to their merciless ways or cut ties with them.

Now, he kept on collecting all the venom from his surroundings but still acted nice on the outside. However, after a point, the venom started overflowing, and he needed to vent it out. Psychology calls it the displacement reaction. As you take out someone else’s anger on a third person, you also take out your negative emotions on a third person in situations like these. While he thought he was taking a positive way to keep crying in front of his wife who was always there for him, he didn’t know it was not.

Let me tell you why. When you keep spilling out the venom on your loved ones in order to feel good inside, you feel good inside! You displace whatever eats you inside. However, you are throwing it out to the person who is positive enough to absorb it. Once you make it a habit, you keep feeling better and better and better, as you have a place where you can dump everything you don’t like. On the other hand, your loved one keeps receiving your dump and keeps gathering negativity and negativity and negativity that you’re passing on unknowingly and they’re collecting unknowingly.

Is it a healthy way to live your life and a healthy way to let your loved ones live theirs? They are there to support you at times when you feel very low in life and not to take your venom on an everyday basis. Once you do that, you keep transferring your negative energy to them and making them feel negative about you. Imagine if you had to do the same for your partner, won’t you get tired after a time? Won’t you ask them to be strong and handle their troubles on their own if they have the habit to attract such troubles every other day?

No, you won’t, especially when you’re trying to be a good partner. That’s what my friend’s wife had been doing…being a good partner! In the process, she was getting venomous, which later started reflecting in her argumentative behavior. Just like her husband, her inside was also filled with negativity that came from him only. The mere difference was that her husband had someone to transfer it to, while she had no one!

(Learn from it and pass it on. If you are like my friend, be strong enough to take care of yourself and your loved ones. Learn to deal with pressures of life and negative energy inside you. They are a part of every human’s life. Don’t cry about them. If you are like my friend’s wife, make your loved one aware when you feel strained. Move away from endless toxicity and let them deal with it. Teach them how to be stronger to face toxicity, as you can obviously do better than them. Have a happy, positive life with the ones you care about and the ones who care for you!)

Mondays Can Be Motivating – Here is How to Scare Away Your Monday Blues

Do you find it dreadful to face Monday when you have to finish off the weekend and get back to work? However, it is not the Monday that scares you, but it is your energy, attitude and mental setup for the Monday. Change it all and you will find that Mondays can be motivating too! Here is how to scare away your Monday blues in just 5 steps:

1. Adopt a positive attitude: Your attitude is the way you perceive something or some situation. If you feel negative about Monday, it may even spoil your entire work week. Thus, tell yourself that Mondays are beautiful and motivating. Set a positive attitude by thinking that the day will be successful for you and will bring cheer and energy.
2. Plan and organize your day: Planning is a critical part of every activity. Thus, it is important that you plan for each day at work. If you do not have a plan to complete certain tasks during a day within a given time, then it can be a mess when you receive sudden work demands. Use an organizer app, a calendar, or a To-Do list to plan your Monday. Do this on the weekend itself so you can check your schedule on Monday morning before setting it in your mind to implement it.
3. Keep your weekend relaxed: A tiring work week and then a tiring weekend can be hell when you begin a fresh week. It is essential to relax your mind and body on the weekend so you can be fit and energetic to start a new Monday. Whether you pursue a hobby on the weekend, listen to soothing music, meditate, groom yourself or cook a great meal for your family, every bit will help you to rejuvenate your mind and body.
4. Treat the root issues: Sometimes, you are scared of facing the Monday after a fun weekend, as you are scared of going to your workplace, meeting a bad colleague, doing a complex task or nodding to your boss’ commands. If you feel the problem is with your work, boss, environment or anything linked to your life, then make sure to treat that problem from the root. Else, every Monday will bring in the same ill-feeling for you. For instance, request for a vacation if you feel burnt out or ask your boss to give you a challenging responsibility if your work is monotonous.
5. Hug a Monday: When you are done with all the above steps, ensure to hug Mondays or every new day that comes to your life. Remember that not everyone in life witnesses a new day. Treat a day as a blessing, as it gives you ample opportunities to grow and develop, as well as learn from it. Smile more to release your happiness hormone.

Keep learning from the things that you find difficult, and keep celebrating things that you find joyful. It will ease off every situation and make you hug the Monday – Tuesday – Friday. Be positive, be happier.

The Silence of Words

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While some words were busy with their chatter

A strong wave caused a splatter

Those poor words dissolved their matter

And went down to finally scatter

They were led out of their rhyming world

Where they delightfully swirled

Nothing was present to make it whirled

Except a slight emotion that hurled and hurled

To push them to a new destination

That randomized their entire creation

And made them lose their vibration

So nothing was left by the name of elation

Words went into deep silence

But it was not their shyness

From forming another alliance

They just wanted a ray of guidance

While they were left bereaved

And while they felt deprived

A new meaning was derived

For which they had always strived

Sunshine came with a new sensation

That bound them in a fresh formation

Their long silence turned into conversation

And words started to walk back toward veneration

How to Identify Good Authors to Read

In my last blog, we discussed about the junk information widespread on social media, and how such information should be replaced by healthier knowledge from books. As promised, I’m passing on a few tips to identify the best of authors (in this blog) and the best of books (in my next blog), because the world of writing is vast and you may get lost in your quest for healthy content. So, here you go.

1. Again, you don’t find a good author on social media, selling one piece at a time. There are many authors who try to force you to read their books. A few may send a personal message, post links on your timeline, or simply keep posting in reader groups. While books marketing is done by authors, good authors have structured marketing techniques. Avoid those who have ample time to not create new knowledge but to keep reminding you in your inbox.
2. There are stereotypes among readers about authors from different countries and their ways of publishing. By ways of publishing, I mean traditional vs. independent. Let me tell you that you can come across a good author regardless of these factors. Unless you move out of stereotypes, you won’t find a diamond and you won’t become a diamond. Thus, explore authors from varied backgrounds, cultures, and nations. Sometimes, independently publishing authors are much more aware of the technicalities of editing, formatting, illustrating, publishing, printing, selling and marketing processes. Sometimes, traditional publishers may have cheaply hired inexperienced editors to work on authors’ books, resulting in low-quality work.
3. Check reviews on the books of authors, but don’t take your decision on the author’s writing quality based solely on these reviews. There are many perfect reviews given by friends and family. On personal book review blogs, there are high chances of seeing paid reviews. There are many reviews where the reader may not be capable enough to judge a book. Some readers simply pick up books by their covers and review the author negatively when they don’t find a book meeting their expectations. Actually, the author may not have written for that reader and the author may not have designed that cover!
4. While the strong reputation of a bestselling author can be helpful, the bestselling tag should not blindfold you. It’s based on several factors that a bestseller becomes a bestseller, and not always by the highest number of sold copies. Instead, you may read some freely available written resources from an author to see how you adapt to their style of writing and whether you want to read more of them.
5. If an author is consistently progressing on his/her journey for years, it is a strong indicator that he/she is a good writer. Perseverance is a quality of good authors, while others may perish after a book or two.
6. When you read an author and find that their book is unedited or badly formatted, you might not like to wait for their next one. Good writers not only devote time to high-quality writing but also to crafting and editing to near perfection. If some reviews talk about bad grammar or formatting issues, better avoid the book. There are authors who are devoted to their craft, while there are also those who just want an author tag on their chest.
7. Finally, explore the kind of knowledge you’re seeking. If you’re looking for a business management book, check the author bio to read about their business background. Similarly, if you’re seeking a self-help book, check whether the author has authority on sensitive subject matters. Read the book’s description to find what the author is offering you. Sometimes, a poorly written description is a good-enough sign of a bad writer.

 

So readers, those were a few points that might or might not help you in identifying good authors. While you can’t judge a new author and an experienced author on the same factors, I’d recommend reading the good ones in all categories. The talent of writing in an author is not determined by factors like the author’s appearance, age, experience, place of residing, number of books written, publishing style, etc. If they have passion for authoring, it will reflect right in their first book. So, you need to be a diamond-grader!

Happy reading…

What’s behind those vibes?

Have you ever thought about that feeling you get from a person who dislikes you or who is jealous of you? Even if you don’t know what is in the mind of that person, you sometimes feel uncomfortable or receive negative vibes from them. Did you know that you may even get negative vibes from a person who acts nicely with you? Well, read on if you found it a surprise!

In the modern world, we all know that nothing changes faster than people. Even your best friend can become a jerk any time. However, you may be unaware of his/her intentions and changed feelings/thoughts about you. Still, you feel it most of the times and that happens because of the vibes they send to you. If you wonder where these positive or negative vibes emanate from, let me give you an example.

Imagine your good friend, who always talked positive about you, suddenly becoming argumentative or critical of you. Being an understanding friend, you may ignore such behavior that you otherwise never witnessed. However, you start receiving negative vibes even if he/she doesn’t talk negative all the time. This happens because you get disturbed by that slight behavioral change that shows occasionally, in front of you or behind your back.

So, how did their vibes to you, changed from positive to negative? It’s very simple that their behavior told you so. However, what you can’t see is what’s on their mind that is driving their behavior. Usually, you get positive vibes from people (known or unknown to you) whose thoughts match yours. Negative vibes come from those who think or act unlike you or against you. Even if your friend’s thoughts changed about you due to some reason, he/she might have tried to behave the same. Still, their subconscious mind ditched them and their thoughts were conveyed to you in the form of negative vibes.

Now, if you are thinking that your negative vibes don’t reach people unless you expose your real thoughts to them, then you are wrong. You will not even know when your mind makes you act in consonance with your thoughts and when the other person receives them in the form of your vibes. You may be hiding your mind inside your skull, but it can’t hide itself! Thus, rather than giving it some food, act out your behavior.

Think positive, be you, and act positive with those you love. Clarify things with those you don’t like. It’s better to talk out differences rather than setting hypothetical beliefs based on them. Not every individual, who doesn’t share your thoughts or who doesn’t match your beliefs, is negative. When you train your mind to find positivity in others and when you compliment them for being what they are, you will be rewarded with positive vibes.

Still, don’t be scared to cut away from such people who are actually showing hatred or jealousy towards you (not once but frequently). It’s in favor of your sanity to stay away from negative vibes and people who act negative and drain your mental energies. You can differentiate between vibes by sending your positive vibes. If these fail repeatedly to attract positive vibes, understand that it’s time to move on. The world has no dearth of people who can send only positive vibes to you. Just feel their vibes!

Now that you know what’s behind those vibes, be the real you and be the positive you. You never know how it may change the world around you a tiny bit!

Forget Birthdays and Memories of Your Friends? – Who is the Culprit?

No, I haven’t forgotten you guys and am back with another shade of life that remains colorful because of your friends!

While we all agree that friends play a significant role in our lives, we all annoy them on many occasions when we forget their birthdays and special events. Sometimes, you have a friend on your friends list and you even forget their memories with you. Do you think it happens with time? Do you think it happens because your brain has ditched you recently? 😉

Well, let us understand it through an instance. I have a bunch of friends out of which I am too close to one. We share all good things of life and interests. This is what developed our friendship for a long-long time. She is so close to me that we even remember what we ate together when we went on that afternoon stroll three years back. I remember her sweet floral dress that she wore on her first date…come on, it was her date! Even she knows what hairstyle I carried seven years back. You might find it all funny, but that is true for all our friends who we love deeply.

In contrast to this, I have another friend in this bunch whose life events seem strange when they occur each year. I could never remember his birthday, wedding anniversary, dresses or even our shared memories. Now, I cannot blame my memory for it, because I know it works fine when I remember each of those details mentioned above. I am not even old enough to have drained out everything. It definitely has to be something else. So, what do you think is erasing some content from my mind while retaining some other?

Before telling you about the psychology behind this fact, I would first let you know that this culprit is called selective retention. Yes; it is one of the mind games that we play with our memory and does not happen the other way round. When we memorize things, our interests and beliefs play a very important role in the processing of information. When we set priorities according to our interests, we filter the details in our mind and only remember what seems relevant to us. Our mind is instructed to narrow down the entire content to a few selective things. It is the same that happened when I chose to selectively retain my close friend’s minute details and filtered out the other friend’s memories as those seemed insignificant to me. You may say that I preferred to favorite the memories of my best friend as and when these memories were formed.

So, it’s never about your mind or brain ditching you when you forget the birthdays and memories of your friends. Look deep inside you and think whether you really like those friends! If you truly want to retain them in your lives, then start retaining their life events when they occur and do not filter them out of your mind. If you do so, then would they want to keep you within the arena of their selective retention? Who knows!…So, give importance to every individual who you want to be with. Life is not about filtering out. Maintain your interest in a person and you will never forget anything about them. Start practicing retention and you will have more close friends by your side.

Keep making friends and keep your friendships healthier until I see you again with another post…:)

Have a lovely life!

Your Encounter With Content in Your Dreamland!

So, here I am back with a sequential post if you missed some connections in your dreams! I know a few of you might also be curious to know about the meanings of your dreamy encounters! So, let’s converse about a few of your dreams today. Let’s see what they mean so you could better relate to my dreamy encounter, as was discussed in my last blog post.

You brain experiences a variety of sensations and creates different types of images while you are in your dreamland. You may not only encounter a cherished moment, but may also witness your ambitions while traveling through a dream. Yes; it is about your daily interactions and experiences that determine your dreams either now or in future. You never know…today’s failure could be reflected in tomorrow’s success dream!

So, every dream is linked to your life in one way or another. It is you whose thoughts determine your dreams and it is again you who can turn your nightmares into the beauty of a dream! The only thing you require to understand is your dream itself…the negativity of a dream can be turned into purity and self-consciousness by receiving the essence of a dream that a dream itself wants to convey to you. So, let’s see how you may understand your dream’s essence and make it your inner power to fight all odds.

Did you know that your dreams symbolize something? Well…yes, they do…your dreams symbolize your deepest wants, desires, needs, fears, positivity and negativity, and almost everything that is innate and implicit. Sometimes, it is so deep that it is not even implicit!! So, how can you judge something that is not even known to you. In fact, you can do that, provided you are able to relate your dream to its reflection deep within you. It is similar to how you judge your physical self by looking at your image in a mirror.

So, you now might be thinking about the way to interpret every single dream…because you see innumerable dreams during your lifetime and multiple dreams during a single night! We may also discuss and interpret only a few cases here, even if we try to. So, what to do to interpret your own dreams? Don’t get disappointed, guys! I am trying to give you a tip that can be used to realize your dreams. 🙂

Though there is no formula to judge your dreams and it’s absolutely subjective, you may still give it a try. So, for example, we take a dream where a person sees himself to be flying high in the air or may be in a plane at a great height. He may also be moving around a place with complete freedom and pleasure. If his dream reflects freedom, then it might mean that he’s looking forward to gain freedom or achieve heights in his real life.

Dream of flying high

Now, it could either be interpreted in a positive or a negative way. On a positive side, this person has high achievement motivation that is trying to drive him to reach his goals. While on a negative side, he is being unable to achieve freedom in his personal/work life or is being hindered to achieve a goal by certain internal/external factors. As this person is facing restrictions against reaching somewhere or achieving something, his desires and motivations are subdued and these finally reflect in his dreams.

Now, you may also try making connections of your dream’s content with your real-life happenings or experiences. See how your dream’s ideas reflect yours and then try making connections. While it is easier to make connections sometimes (like in this example), it could be far more difficult and deeper to assess objects in your dreams that seem to be far unrelated to your real-life desires , wants and thoughts. In such cases, try the ‘matching magic’ formula. Haha…it’s not a written chemistry formula, but one that is mine and I try often. Let’s take another example below to understand this technique.

Dream car

Suppose you see a dream in which you are driving a car. Then, this means that either you have a passion to own your car but can’t purchase it or you wish to gain complete control over your life as you have done while steering a car. You are on a driver’s seat and this means that you have an innate desire to be there. Thus, when you match this car and the seating position to your life, you will find that you want to drive some aspect of your life your own way. On the other hand, this same car may mean something else if your dream’s context varies. For example, if this car is a cab that you are hiring, then it may mean that you require help in a real life situation.

Thus, both your dream’s content and its context together determine the real meaning of it. And believe me, nobody can interpret your dream better than yourself! I might help you find these connections, but it will be the best if you find those connections yourself. That will not only make you more mature and understanding, but also help you gain many more virtues. Just try it out and you will see how dream interpretation can help you become a better person and improve yourself by understanding your own needs and moods.

There is nothing on this land that you can’t reach or overcome if you have the knowledge of those indications your dreamland is sending your way. So, try to read the signals of your dreams and start this process without delay. Know your fears and challenges and then turn them into opportunities. You will only gain something if you are conscious about your want for it. So, be conscious and comment back if you need help with crossing any barrier. We all can together sort out our mutual confusions, as we all are starting toward bringing positivity into our lives.

Bring your deepest thoughts into conscious mind today so you can be a progressed person tomorrow…start traveling on your journey toward your dreamland now…!! I will always be a co-traveler.

Check out another fresh aspect of life influenced by content as we keep conversing…dream more and keep knowing more about yourself, until we meet again in my next post! Cheers to life! 🙂