The Psychology of Books Series – Book Review: Close to The Bone by Lisa Ray

Being a lifelong learner, I hardly create my reading lists. Instead of me needing to choose books, the chosen books reach me in a magical way. ‘Close to the Bone’ is one such book that captured me. If it has reached you too, I suggest not missing reading it at all.

While the words in golden beautify the book cover, the real gold is hidden inside this memoir of Lisa Rani Ray, a popular name in the world of modeling and cinema. It’s her soulful saga that begins with her heartwarming childhood stories and family incidents. There is a lot interesting to read, from carrying a mixed-race legacy with her to the experiences she gained from her time spent with family, relatives and friends in two different countries, India and Poland, where her father and mother respectively belong to.

Lisa has also wonderfully written an account of her life in Calcutta, Canada, New York and London, among other places, and her professional life that ‘accidentally’ started in Bombay. Her inclination to writing and poetry, practicing yoga and meditation, mural painting, and travel and adventure is all mentioned beautifully. From her inner conflicts, failed relationships, bulimia issue and fears in life to her graduation from the deadly disease of multiple myeloma/cancer, she has very honestly penned it all down.

What most appealed and related to me was the storytelling of her deep spiritual adventures and her quest to understand and achieve a balanced life by believing constantly in her positive thoughts and not in the norms and fears that prevail around one’s choices in life. She has shown the courage to rise above societal tags and bound beliefs to spread awareness about issues close to her heart.

Whether it is about undergoing stem cell treatment or attending red carpet events with her shaved head, Lisa, through her life experiences, teaches the world to shed its inhibitions and find the real ‘self’ to manifest what seems impossible.

Although I found the book slightly dragged by the end, it’s actually a page turner, even if it’s not a fiction book. That’s simply because Lisa’s life is so real, yet unreal; so intuitive and random, yet cosmically planned; and so inner-oriented, yet extremely candid. I strongly recommend the memoir to all.

Lead a happy life, reading and growing…:)

The Psychology of Books Series – Book Review: The Knife’s Edge by Prof. Stephen Westaby

Continuing my quest for wonderful reads, this month, I came across a non-fiction book named The Knife’s Edge. For those of you who want to develop with the development of knowledge, this book can be a pearl in the necklace. Here is my review of The Knife’s Edge:

“The Knife’s Edge is a beautifully crafted book by an equally crafty cardiac surgeon, Professor Stephen Westaby. As its caption suggests, it’s truly an account of the heart and soul of a cardiac surgeon who deals with the ups and downs of life, every single moment at work. You’ll see the sacrifices and pains behind that routine of multiple mind-boggling surgeries that are handled under extreme pressure by surgeons, yet with great precision. Sometimes, their hands are tied; sometimes, their times are.

I also appreciate the way the author has raised his questions on the working of a healthcare system that he believes to be lacking in advanced equipment and resources required for a job that is considered to be the toughest in the professional domain. It was sad to learn about the conditions in which critical heart surgeries of infants and adults take place when the system is unable to provide for the best, which it is surely able to achieve with such talented nursing personnel and surgeons.

Some compassion for the sufferers and a slight change in administrative mindset can avoid many dangers, fears and risks to the ‘precious’ life. Suffering is never a good sight to witness, whether by patients’ families or their surgeons.

This book not just covers the author’s professional cases but also his personal life that sometimes displays the shades of sadness, fear and misery and the feelings of joy on other occasions. I feel life is never normal when death becomes a regular part of it. I was moved by the incidents like those of Sophie and Oliver, the little patients who came back from the clutches of death, simply because their surgeon forever believed in hope and in magic at times when he strove constantly to achieve perfection.

While it’s advantageous to be aware of the basics of anatomy and medical procedures when you read this book, the life stories, thoughts and experiences of Prof. Westaby are worth cherishing, especially when the book is so well edited and supported by a glossary of medical terms. Go for it any day, guys!”

Lead a happy life, reading and growing…:)

How Your Positive Relationships Turn Venomous Over Time

A close friend of mine recently shared his story with me. Without going into the details, I’ll just tell you that he had a harmonious relationship with his wife where everything was going well. They shared mutual love, but her wife soon took the relationship in a direction where they started having fights and arguments every other day. It surged so high that they reached the end very soon.

Photo by Vera Arsic on Pexels.com

To make you understand the psychology behind such relationships, let me give you an example of my friend’s behavior. He is a genuine young, energetic guy but extremely emotional. He holds back grudges, hurt, pain, sorrow and everything negative inside him. He says he doesn’t like to share it with the world, and he wants to stay clam and collected in front of people who are not close to him.

That is quite okay when it is his personal choice and when he knows he can handle his pains well. However, since he had a loving wife who always gave him an ear and a shoulder to lean on, he started sharing his bruises and sorrows with her. His dealings with people happened in a way that he was back-stabbed many times. You all must have experienced how some people can take advantage of your emotions and hit your weak points. He experienced it too but never gave back to their merciless ways or cut ties with them.

Now, he kept on collecting all the venom from his surroundings but still acted nice on the outside. However, after a point, the venom started overflowing, and he needed to vent it out. Psychology calls it the displacement reaction. As you take out someone else’s anger on a third person, you also take out your negative emotions on a third person in situations like these. While he thought he was taking a positive way to keep crying in front of his wife who was always there for him, he didn’t know it was not.

Let me tell you why. When you keep spilling out the venom on your loved ones in order to feel good inside, you feel good inside! You displace whatever eats you inside. However, you are throwing it out to the person who is positive enough to absorb it. Once you make it a habit, you keep feeling better and better and better, as you have a place where you can dump everything you don’t like. On the other hand, your loved one keeps receiving your dump and keeps gathering negativity and negativity and negativity that you’re passing on unknowingly and they’re collecting unknowingly.

Is it a healthy way to live your life and a healthy way to let your loved ones live theirs? They are there to support you at times when you feel very low in life and not to take your venom on an everyday basis. Once you do that, you keep transferring your negative energy to them and making them feel negative about you. Imagine if you had to do the same for your partner, won’t you get tired after a time? Won’t you ask them to be strong and handle their troubles on their own if they have the habit to attract such troubles every other day?

No, you won’t, especially when you’re trying to be a good partner. That’s what my friend’s wife had been doing…being a good partner! In the process, she was getting venomous, which later started reflecting in her argumentative behavior. Just like her husband, her inside was also filled with negativity that came from him only. The mere difference was that her husband had someone to transfer it to, while she had no one!

(Learn from it and pass it on. If you are like my friend, be strong enough to take care of yourself and your loved ones. Learn to deal with pressures of life and negative energy inside you. They are a part of every human’s life. Don’t cry about them. If you are like my friend’s wife, make your loved one aware when you feel strained. Move away from endless toxicity and let them deal with it. Teach them how to be stronger to face toxicity, as you can obviously do better than them. Have a happy, positive life with the ones you care about and the ones who care for you!)

10 Quick Tips to Be More Creative Right Now

As promised in my previous post, you can gain some real quick tips to be creative right now. If you always thought it to be complex to arrive at new ideas, then it is going to be super-easy from now on. It is simply about training your mind. Check out some ways to think out of the box and make it a habit to be creative:

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

1. Be open-minded: The first thing you must do is to keep your mind open to thoughts, ideas, and experiences. Resisting new ideas will stop you from being creative. Thus, start by appreciating every change that happens around you. Then, train your mind to stay adaptive and learning-oriented. Learn from any and every concept, event, source, etc.
2. Gain domain knowledge: People who experiment with their skills and innovate have good knowledge in their domains. For instance, a musician can only create new tunes when he/she has the knowledge of creating music. Thus, start gaining more knowledge on your subject. Move to Internet and search for fresh information on any topic you find intriguing. You will be surprised at what all you learn. New learning will trigger creative thoughts.
3. Solve an old problem: If you were thinking about completing a task but were facing an obstacle to do so, then rethink. If you do not have enough information to solve it, search online. Keep exploring relevant information until you arrive at a minimum of one solution to that problem. A good start may give you other creative ideas to solve that problem.
4. Doodle it: Even if you have a weird thought in mind, try doodling it. You do not need to be a great artist to doodle your idea. Draw anything that comes to mind and you will automatically be inspired to make it better and come up with fresh ideas to mend your doodle. You may carry a sketchbook to doodle your sudden ideas anytime, anywhere.
5. Link up things: Select any two items in your home and think how you would link them up. For instance, the creator of roller skates might have thought of linking shoes and wheels. What is your idea of linking up things?
6. Explore a picture: Take any picture or painting to explore keenly. Write down all you notice about that picture. Adopt a fresh perspective to look at it every time and keep noting down your ideas. Whether you like or dislike something or want to change an element, keep a note. Take a break and review your notes later. You will find how creative you have been with your thoughts.
7. Be curious: To be creative, you have to be curious. Go to watch a play. Attend a concert. Visit an art gallery. If nothing is possible, explore creative videos on the Internet. Be curious about the art so you may know more about it and create some of your own.
8. Read a novel: If you have a good story book or novel, start reading it. You can also download e books. When you read a story, you will be curious to know about further happenings. Hundreds of new thoughts will come to your mind. Work on it if you get a wonderful idea.
9. Go for a walk: To stimulate your mind, it is also helpful to move physically. When you go for a walk around your block, you will meet different people and notice a lot of activities. Make a habit of observation and giving a thought to such activities. One thought will lead to another and many more.
10. Do things differently: Whether it is about cooking your meal with changed ingredients or taking a new route to office, you should make a change today. Experiment on doing things differently.

Creativity is only about making a change in the way you think. Initiate the training of your mind immediately!