Love Simplified

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Human beings experience a vast range of emotions, from anger and anxiety to empathy and compassion. However, the most unclear emotion to their mind is the emotion of love. A mix of brain chemicals and bodily hormones generates this emotion, making it so complex to understand.

Due to the complexity of love that humans experience at different levels, it becomes almost impossible for many of them to figure out what love actually is and what its consequences are. As a result, they take some major decisions in life that either bring happiness to them or become burdens over a period of time. Yet, love can be saved and burdens can be avoided! Let’s see how to give it a start.

Understanding the levels

To understand the basics of love, it is important to understand its different levels.

• The most raw form in the love hierarchy is sexual or physical love, which arises due to bodily needs. You can imagine it to be sitting at the base of the love pyramid.

• As a human soul develops and grows, love transforms into more of romantic love, with less of sexual desire in it.

• At the next level, love takes the form of friendship, care, and wanting to fulfill all the needs of lovers and partners. At this level, humans usually want to move into commitment or marriage as they understand the meaning of real love and they want to continue experiencing this emotion. Most humans on earth are currently operating at this level.

• However, it takes much more to climb up the pyramid and experience the emotion of true love. It is also called as the spiritual love or the divine love. For that purpose, a human soul requires to undergo spiritual awakening and transformation that happen by the blessings of God and with the help of divine beings.

• After this level, a human actually rises above the earthly plane and becomes a true soul that can offer eternal love to itself and to another soul at its level. When a soul desires much more than a usual earthly relationship, it is grown to achieve self-love and independence. The soul also gains the knowledge of balancing itself and feeling complete in itself. A balanced soul can easily achieve balance with its partner soul. At this level, two balanced and independent individuals are able to form a healthy and exemplary relationship.

• Post that level, a soul is able to experience compassionate love for the entire humanity and then the divine love for the entire cosmos.

• The ultimate and purest form of love is called devotion that every soul grows to offer to the supreme God. Thus, God reciprocates such devotion with their unimaginable form of love.

How to deal with the challenges of each level

There is only one simple solution to solve the problems that humans face at different levels of love – To Love, Be Loved, and Grow in Love, All Authentically…

Additional Tips: Do not let any negative emotion influence your love. Negativity can kill love, because love is a positive emotion. So, you receive nothing in return. Offer your love unconditionally to all, and avoid keeping any expectations or making any assumptions when it comes to the reciprocation of your love by others. Not everyone can return love or offer it unconditionally. Not everyone wants to do it or is even obligated to do it. We are all separate souls having our own choices, desires, circumstances, and interests to serve in life. No one can control no one! Had love worked so smoothly, it would not be complex.

Love is never owned by ego. If ego has to survive, love must die. Always make healthy choices when it comes to loving self or others. The issues occur when you get stuck at the base or any level of the pyramid and never want to rise up. Challenges and the resulting pains are parts of everyone’s love life, but they need to be resolved so that you don’t refrain from spiritual growth. Thus, keep yourself vulnerable in love. If it brings lessons, then take them and move on. Let go of the wrong lovers amicably, without a feeling of revenge. Forgive them without blame, because sometimes, it may be your fault that you see in them or may be mutual faults. Let go anyways, or you stay stuck with no progress.

Make sure you choose the right partner who is at your level of love and can help you grow. Incompatibility, especially in terms of love needs, can cause an imbalance in any connection, marriage, or partnership. Seek help from wise astrologers, spiritualists, marriage counselors or psychological counselors to learn to bring in compatibility in your relations. Know that love is a very wide domain of knowledge in itself. If you’re not prepared to handle partnerships, do not jump into them or you’ll make yourself and your partner suffer. Never force any relation on yourself. If you’re concerned about progress, it can also be done by self. Remind yourself of self-love at all times; don’t compromise on it, ever. That’s it – love simplified for you!

Reference Resources – For my blog readers who may want to learn more about love at specific levels, I’ve available books authored by me. You may choose the ones that resonate with you. The links are here:

On Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Ruchika-Pahwa/e/B079BBVHZY/ref=aufs_dp_mata_dsk

On my website: https://ruchikapahwa.wixsite.com/author/books

As I write in multiple genres, you should read the book description carefully, before selecting to purchase any of them. From the spiritual growth and love perspective, I personally suggest these books – The Christmas That Brought Love, As Love Can’t be Typed, Rainbow Love, Are YOU Complete?, The Truth of Energies, To the Lord of Compassion, The Truth to Know Before You Tarot It, Bonds & Bondages, Dewdrops, Elemental, Selene, Living Liberation, and Oasis of Peace.

If you have a specific love or life issue to resolve and need help to choose the right book, then just connect to me through my website or social media mentioned thereon. Drop a tweet, or comment here.

May you find the light and peace in love! Enjoy your life, dear folks, until we meet through another blog. 🙂

Dedicated to my book, “As Love Can’t Be Typed”

When love is charm

Ranunculus gives it a form,

When love gets new buds

Carnations flavor your blood,

When love sparks romance

Roses make your heart dance,

When love means comfort

Tulips blow their trumpet,

When love rests in lifelong joy

Gardenias turn their smile coy!

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(All my fiction, non-fiction and poetry books are available for purchase here: https://www.amazon.com/Ruchika-Pahwa/e/B079BBVHZY.)

The Psychology of Books Series – Book Review: Close to The Bone by Lisa Ray

Being a lifelong learner, I hardly create my reading lists. Instead of me needing to choose books, the chosen books reach me in a magical way. ‘Close to the Bone’ is one such book that captured me. If it has reached you too, I suggest not missing reading it at all.

While the words in golden beautify the book cover, the real gold is hidden inside this memoir of Lisa Rani Ray, a popular name in the world of modeling and cinema. It’s her soulful saga that begins with her heartwarming childhood stories and family incidents. There is a lot interesting to read, from carrying a mixed-race legacy with her to the experiences she gained from her time spent with family, relatives and friends in two different countries, India and Poland, where her father and mother respectively belong to.

Lisa has also wonderfully written an account of her life in Calcutta, Canada, New York and London, among other places, and her professional life that ‘accidentally’ started in Bombay. Her inclination to writing and poetry, practicing yoga and meditation, mural painting, and travel and adventure is all mentioned beautifully. From her inner conflicts, failed relationships, bulimia issue and fears in life to her graduation from the deadly disease of multiple myeloma/cancer, she has very honestly penned it all down.

What most appealed and related to me was the storytelling of her deep spiritual adventures and her quest to understand and achieve a balanced life by believing constantly in her positive thoughts and not in the norms and fears that prevail around one’s choices in life. She has shown the courage to rise above societal tags and bound beliefs to spread awareness about issues close to her heart.

Whether it is about undergoing stem cell treatment or attending red carpet events with her shaved head, Lisa, through her life experiences, teaches the world to shed its inhibitions and find the real ‘self’ to manifest what seems impossible.

Although I found the book slightly dragged by the end, it’s actually a page turner, even if it’s not a fiction book. That’s simply because Lisa’s life is so real, yet unreal; so intuitive and random, yet cosmically planned; and so inner-oriented, yet extremely candid. I strongly recommend the memoir to all.

Lead a happy life, reading and growing…:)

The Psychology of Books Series – Book Review: The Knife’s Edge by Prof. Stephen Westaby

Continuing my quest for wonderful reads, this month, I came across a non-fiction book named The Knife’s Edge. For those of you who want to develop with the development of knowledge, this book can be a pearl in the necklace. Here is my review of The Knife’s Edge:

“The Knife’s Edge is a beautifully crafted book by an equally crafty cardiac surgeon, Professor Stephen Westaby. As its caption suggests, it’s truly an account of the heart and soul of a cardiac surgeon who deals with the ups and downs of life, every single moment at work. You’ll see the sacrifices and pains behind that routine of multiple mind-boggling surgeries that are handled under extreme pressure by surgeons, yet with great precision. Sometimes, their hands are tied; sometimes, their times are.

I also appreciate the way the author has raised his questions on the working of a healthcare system that he believes to be lacking in advanced equipment and resources required for a job that is considered to be the toughest in the professional domain. It was sad to learn about the conditions in which critical heart surgeries of infants and adults take place when the system is unable to provide for the best, which it is surely able to achieve with such talented nursing personnel and surgeons.

Some compassion for the sufferers and a slight change in administrative mindset can avoid many dangers, fears and risks to the ‘precious’ life. Suffering is never a good sight to witness, whether by patients’ families or their surgeons.

This book not just covers the author’s professional cases but also his personal life that sometimes displays the shades of sadness, fear and misery and the feelings of joy on other occasions. I feel life is never normal when death becomes a regular part of it. I was moved by the incidents like those of Sophie and Oliver, the little patients who came back from the clutches of death, simply because their surgeon forever believed in hope and in magic at times when he strove constantly to achieve perfection.

While it’s advantageous to be aware of the basics of anatomy and medical procedures when you read this book, the life stories, thoughts and experiences of Prof. Westaby are worth cherishing, especially when the book is so well edited and supported by a glossary of medical terms. Go for it any day, guys!”

Lead a happy life, reading and growing…:)

The Psychology of Books Series – Book Review: The Unnamed Bears Favor by J. Lyon Layden

As we talk about the psychology of content on this blog, I want to share today about the books that have their unique psychology. We, the writers, weave a special world for our readers in order to instigate their imagination and thought processes in multiple directions. If a book cannot do that, there is no point in its existence.

I not only create books but also read tons of them (tons from different genres!) to spark my imagination and thoughts. I suggest the same when you read something. Explore a variety of genres and do not keep yourself limited to the one you like. While your favorite genre may keep your mind entertained, your mind also needs to grow and develop with a new stream of thought.

Recently, I came across this amazing read that I’d like to recommend to you. The title of this fantasy novelette is ‘The Unnamed Bears Favor.’ This book by J. Lyon Layden is a fine read for those readers who have been finding their truth and purpose in life. I’m posting a concise review so you may get a gist of what it brings along.

My review of The Unnamed Bears Favor:

“The Unnamed Bears Favor is a well-researched, well-crafted work by the author. Those who are enlightened will reach the depth of his imagination here. The story of an unnamed village outcast started random and slow, but everything made a connection as I flipped through the pages. It’s beautiful to see how this ‘unnamed’ brave boy walks through an adventurous life journey with his brotherly tribe to try achieving a name that could define his identity and life’s purpose. The rich vocab is complemented by dramatic scenes, which I loved most about this book. I almost got immersed in the world of adorned warriors and dreadful ogres. I’m glad I came across and read this novelette.”

I’m sure you’ll also be glad to read it and more such books that take you to a higher plane of consciousness. When your mind reaches that state of consciousness, you become aware of the tasks you’re here to accomplish. All humans have arrived to complete their mission on Earth, and the earlier you find your purpose, the better you do that task. So, do not delay your mental expansion up on the ladder of life. Read-learn-absorb-repeat!

Lead a happy life, reading and growing…:)

How Book Lovers Can Contribute to the Environment this Earth Day

On Earth Day today (April 22), we all need to take a pledge to contribute to saving our environment in one way or another. Recycling can be the first important step to get started to care for your environment and Mother Earth. I know most of you may already be doing that, and thus, you must pass on the knowledge to those who require such inspiration.

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Moving further, I have an Eco-friendly suggestion for a particular group of individuals. Especially to ferocious readers and book lovers, I want to say that your first step can be to move from physical books to e books. While I understand your sentiments of loving the touch and smell of a new book, it is also critical to realize what you would be leaving for your children and grandchildren to enjoy!

Did you know that just 1 ton of non-recycled printing paper takes the lives of about 25 trees? You may now count and assess how you, as extensive readers, are contributing to environmental damage. I share your passion for book reading and must tell you that I moved to e books long back. For years, I have not bought any physical book. The ones I have are a few gifted by authors or those I rented from an e library. That leaves a lot of space inside my study, keeps my library organized on my phone/tab, and of course, saves trees from dying before time.🌲🌴🌿

I appeal to reading enthusiasts to think of it and try contributing positively to the mother that feeds them. Read green, recycle paper, and pass on your extra books to not-so-privileged individuals to read and gain knowledge from them. Protect Mother Earth in your own little or big ways, reader friends. Yes, you can do it too. Begin now, if you have not yet!

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10 Quick Tips to Be More Creative Right Now

As promised in my previous post, you can gain some real quick tips to be creative right now. If you always thought it to be complex to arrive at new ideas, then it is going to be super-easy from now on. It is simply about training your mind. Check out some ways to think out of the box and make it a habit to be creative:

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1. Be open-minded: The first thing you must do is to keep your mind open to thoughts, ideas, and experiences. Resisting new ideas will stop you from being creative. Thus, start by appreciating every change that happens around you. Then, train your mind to stay adaptive and learning-oriented. Learn from any and every concept, event, source, etc.
2. Gain domain knowledge: People who experiment with their skills and innovate have good knowledge in their domains. For instance, a musician can only create new tunes when he/she has the knowledge of creating music. Thus, start gaining more knowledge on your subject. Move to Internet and search for fresh information on any topic you find intriguing. You will be surprised at what all you learn. New learning will trigger creative thoughts.
3. Solve an old problem: If you were thinking about completing a task but were facing an obstacle to do so, then rethink. If you do not have enough information to solve it, search online. Keep exploring relevant information until you arrive at a minimum of one solution to that problem. A good start may give you other creative ideas to solve that problem.
4. Doodle it: Even if you have a weird thought in mind, try doodling it. You do not need to be a great artist to doodle your idea. Draw anything that comes to mind and you will automatically be inspired to make it better and come up with fresh ideas to mend your doodle. You may carry a sketchbook to doodle your sudden ideas anytime, anywhere.
5. Link up things: Select any two items in your home and think how you would link them up. For instance, the creator of roller skates might have thought of linking shoes and wheels. What is your idea of linking up things?
6. Explore a picture: Take any picture or painting to explore keenly. Write down all you notice about that picture. Adopt a fresh perspective to look at it every time and keep noting down your ideas. Whether you like or dislike something or want to change an element, keep a note. Take a break and review your notes later. You will find how creative you have been with your thoughts.
7. Be curious: To be creative, you have to be curious. Go to watch a play. Attend a concert. Visit an art gallery. If nothing is possible, explore creative videos on the Internet. Be curious about the art so you may know more about it and create some of your own.
8. Read a novel: If you have a good story book or novel, start reading it. You can also download e books. When you read a story, you will be curious to know about further happenings. Hundreds of new thoughts will come to your mind. Work on it if you get a wonderful idea.
9. Go for a walk: To stimulate your mind, it is also helpful to move physically. When you go for a walk around your block, you will meet different people and notice a lot of activities. Make a habit of observation and giving a thought to such activities. One thought will lead to another and many more.
10. Do things differently: Whether it is about cooking your meal with changed ingredients or taking a new route to office, you should make a change today. Experiment on doing things differently.

Creativity is only about making a change in the way you think. Initiate the training of your mind immediately!

From Frown to Smile – 10 quick ways to improve your mood

Are you a little annoyed with what someone said to you? Are you very annoyed with something that happened to you? Whatever be the reason of your unhappiness, you can turn that frown to smile in a short time, provided ‘you’ are desirous of doing it. Every human being seeks happiness and joy. However, it is also important to accept hopelessness, annoyance, stress, mood disturbances, and everything that happens to snatch your happiness.

Remember that happiness can be enjoyed only after a phase of unhappiness is over. So, do not feel broken by the negatives, as the negatives make you appreciate the positives in your life. Let me offer slight help if you want to enter a happy mood right now. Read on to get some quick tips.

1. Get moving: Do not keep sitting in a dark corner. Move out. If you have been thinking for long about something, break that pattern and step out of your surroundings to a livelier world. The fresh air and some smiles around you will make you happy instantly.
2. Bask in the sunshine: If you are unhappy right in the morning, go and get some rays of Sun on your face. You will get vitamin D, a mood booster; and yes, even gloomy poets take inspiration from the Sun!
3. Interact, interact, communicate: It is not without a reason that God gave you a family, a set of friends, and some neighbors. Interact with them. If you are close to someone, try sharing with them what troubles you. Pouring your heart out to a trustworthy person is the best way to find instant relief. Get communicating! Do not take the entire burden of this world on your sole head.
4. Meditate: Sometimes, people are the root of your problem. If so, move inward rather than outward. Interacting with the same individuals who strain your mind can be too much to bear for long. Take a break and meditate in solitude. Your escape can give you solutions to problems and relief from negativity. It refreshes your mind and helps you find newer ways to tackle your issues.
5. Watch comedy: Watching a comedy show or movie is probably the best immediate solution to your stress issues and troubles. Laughter releases dopamine, the stress-buster chemical, in your brain. Play a comic video or show on the Internet or watch a fun movie on TV. However, do not keep waiting for happiness to walk up to you. Believe me that it is very stubborn, but vulnerable if you plan to catch it.
6. Play games: No, it is not about playing games with people! Play any nice game offline or online. Creative and mind-boosting games can be instant joy providers. Play it to believe it.
7. Be organized: Sometimes, workload or work complexity is the root of your frown. In such a case, uproot it through effective planning and task execution. Use an organizer app or To-Do list to create a priority list of the tasks you have to do. Start by completing some easy and short tasks if a complex task is giving you the ache. Taking slight burden off your head will offer intrinsic motivation to finish other tasks. Try on; it works!
8. Put the music on: Music is an impacting solution to unhappiness. Play vocal or instrumental of your choice. However, it is important to actually hear and feel it to enjoy. It acts like a medical drug to the disease called the negativity of mind.
9. Scroll through pictures: Something highly effective to treat your negative mood is a family album or some great pictures you have clicked. Refresh your memories by scrolling through those happy faces and positive emotions. If you cannot get hold of it right now, then simply search for the images of nature and places on a search engine. You will feel instant mood uplifting.
10. Eat clean and sweat it out: While eating healthy and nourishing food as a routine can keep your mood happy at all times, you can grab a good bite to boost yourself when you feel stressed out. But, no junk food please! Drink plenty of water and have protein and good carbs. You can have a bite of chocolate though! Make sure to work out for a while to feel refreshed. Good food and exercise will cleanse your system and mind. A clean mind will get some great thoughts that will solve some silly problems.

So, which technique is the best for now? Do share your feedback if you find it helpful. Live a happy, cheerful life until I see you back…

(For constant motivation and joy, pick up any of my books to read what fits your mood. I write only to spread positivity around. You may get the required details on my social media handles. Feel free to connect or message me if you’re facing any serious issues and need help/counseling. Your mind and body are precious. Treasure them and keep them away from negativity. Life is beautiful; live it well.)

The Silence of Words

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While some words were busy with their chatter

A strong wave caused a splatter

Those poor words dissolved their matter

And went down to finally scatter

They were led out of their rhyming world

Where they delightfully swirled

Nothing was present to make it whirled

Except a slight emotion that hurled and hurled

To push them to a new destination

That randomized their entire creation

And made them lose their vibration

So nothing was left by the name of elation

Words went into deep silence

But it was not their shyness

From forming another alliance

They just wanted a ray of guidance

While they were left bereaved

And while they felt deprived

A new meaning was derived

For which they had always strived

Sunshine came with a new sensation

That bound them in a fresh formation

Their long silence turned into conversation

And words started to walk back toward veneration

How to Grow and Develop with Poetry

If you always thought that poetry is just a way of the poet to self-express, then think again. You may still be at a nascent stage and far from self-actualization. However, you are not alone in thinking that. Many individuals believe that a poet pens down his/her personal thoughts, feelings, and past or present life in his/her poem. They don’t see any way it could be useful or helpful to them.

However, you can grow and develop yourself if you open your mind to understanding what poetry can do to you. Read on to find out.

Know yourself: Poetry can appear to be sad or happy, dark or positive, and hopeless or hopeful. Sometimes, you may find a poem as the description of an event in the poet’s life, which may actually not be the case. At another time, you may find the same poem as the description of an event in your own life. Similarly, you may find the poet’s perspective very different from your perspective on the poem’s subject. All this happens because you and your environment are unique, yet you share similar emotions, feelings, experiences and more with other humans. Poetry helps you know your real personality by the way you react to the words of someone else.

Explore your inner self: It is not only about your overt personality but you may also explore your core through poetry. I have seen readers who start interpreting a poet’s thoughts and life as soon as they read their poetry. However, a poet may pen down a poem for any purpose, to explain any concept/thought, to express their experience in any manner, and to tell their own or someone else’s story in any context. It is very complex to arrive at an exact understanding of a poet through his/her poem. Moreover, how does that knowledge add to a reader’s own growth and development? A better use of poetry is for exploring your own inner self.

Stir your core: Reading poetry is highly enriching. There are several things that may be taboo in your family, society, community, etc. Poetry is so versatile that it can break all such taboos and bring to your mind’s surface all the emotions, feelings or perspectives that you’d never share in your real life, with people around you. This is because you may not want to create a negative or rebellious image of yours. With poetry, you can actually stir that suppressed subconscious and unconscious that you’ve been carrying in your head. It gives a release/clearance to your true emotions and any negativity. When you get rid of that, you turn to be more positive, humble, compassionate, understanding of others, and energized. You start moving beyond what was blocking your growth and development as a human. You become more open and accepting of your and others’ thoughts and feelings, because you become aware of a world that’s similar to who you are.

Grow and develop your soul: When you read a variety of poetry, you explore a variety of experiences, stories, and people! Sitting on your couch, you gain the deepest understanding of the universe and the souls inhabiting it. You learn about cultures, rituals, boundaries, actions, nature, heart and soul, and what not! It may or may not resonate with you all the time, but it gives you an understanding of psychology. It’s like looking at an abstract painting and deriving your own meaningful picture from it. The purpose is not to understand an artist’s life and mind but your own! Release your emotions and leave negative traits in a painting, a poem. Believe me; you won’t get empty inside. You will glow with an inner light to take you on a path of growth so you may reach the next destination of your soul.

Go on…success is waiting for your self-actualization. Break your boundaries, know your soul, enrich your self, and light up your life with joy. (Poetry = Joy)